I Want To Invent A Family Doctor Robot
I want to invent a family doctor robot, which can be used to cure the illness without going out of their home. As far as I’m concerned, it will be extremely helpful and useful because of the following reasons:
First, you can see the doctor immediately at home when you feel sick or get hurt. It can save us a lot of time, especially in emergency situations.
Furthermore, hospitals today are always filled with patients, not everyone can be taken good care of. However, with the help of our robot doctors, you can talk to your personal doctor one to one whenever you want.
In short, family doctor robots can make great contribution to our society.
亮点一：全文巧用“first, furthermore, in short” 等连接词，把家庭机器人医生的好处写的非常清晰，让阅卷老师一目了然。
亮点三：文中出现了“extremely, make contribution to” 这些超纲单词及词组，恰到好处地强调了家庭机器人医生的重要性，且为文采再次进行润色。