范文2及点评:
I want to invent a time machine
If I have the ability to invent something that could make life better, the first thing that comes into my mind is a time machine. With its help, people could go back to the past conveniently.
We unavoidably make some mistakes that we regret so much, it’s fantastic if we could get another chance to fix it. Besides, it is of great importance to the aged people if they are able toenjoy their youth for a second time.
Although it sounds like an impossible dream to realize, I still believe with the rapid development of science and technology, my idea will become reality some day.
精彩亮点分析:
亮点一:the first thing that comes into mind 首先映入脑海的是。
亮点二:conveniently方便地,便利地。
亮点三:be of great importance名词结构更高端。
亮点四:使用be able to短语替换掉could,避免重复。
亮点五:with the rapid development of science and technology随着科学和技术的迅速发展。
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